If it were my dying wish, would you come over 2nite 2 save me?:):):) wana come anyways?
I chose taco bell over sex...
good choice.
She told me to "stuff her hole like a build-a-bear". I was so drunk I didn't even think that was weird.
She is ok w me having sex for money. Just gotta find rich grandmas.
I'm not considering your visit a success until we've fucked every cock in the ethnic rainbow...between the four of us we should have it done by x-mas
I come bearing gifts of whiskey and vagina
You did that scary laugh you always do when you're blacking out except she's never heard it before and though you were choking and screamed at all of us when we didn't call an ambulance
My puffy vagina and I are on the way to the doctor to see what your mutant penis did to us THANKS A LOT
About to be a 4Loko vomit fountain in 45 seconds, what color will it be? Animated birds will fly out of me.
Also I've been at work for an hour and I've already been "honey"d "babe"d and "beautiful"d by three separate men. Apparently hungover with yesterdays make up looks good on me.
It's a lube slip n slide down the hallway now. Details later.
I was looking at the storm clouds during my run and one oddly resembled ur penis
Maybe I'm not hungover. Maybe I'm actually dying.
I now know he's been cheating for a while. I also know HER name, address, phone number, Facebook account, religion and zodiac sign. I feel like I'm earning my restraining order. Point is, never fuck over a librarian.
I'm giving drunk me full control of my body for the next few days. Please don't let me die.
Randomize
