we can't become the bulimic house in the complex dude. Besides, you need teeth for your career.
you flashed the cab driver so we didn't have to pay the fare and then you decided you were on a roll so you flashed the guy at the maccas drive through... safe to say your boob job was the best idea ever!!
I'm not embarrassed about the lap dance. I'm embarrassed for the singing during.
You working tonight?
Keg. Hottub. Wearimnh a 8th graders bikini. Mess
i knew it was time to leave the bar when i caught myself doing karate dance moves with a married man.
You're in the clear; you and Andrew did not joint fingerbang that girl on the dance floor last night.
That UFC fighter fucked me so hard I have what can only be described as a "cuntcussion"
Was I asleep on the ride home?
Yea, then when I tried to hold your head up on a turn, you round house punched me in the face.
woke up to a family dragging me under their beach umbrella, they poured water on me bc they "thought I was dead" then fed me quesadillas and nursed me back to health... gotta love Cabo
things were going awesome until jimmy put out a cigarette in the everclear.
Dude!! Who the fuck glued Cheetos to my couch? Bastards!!
Its amazing how creative youll get when your house has been out of toilet paper for a week and a half
poll: am I friendzoned if he just called me brochacha? on one hand, he called me bro, but on the other, he used the a to make it feminine.
I mean that was the nicest way to be dumped by some one I wasn't dating.
Planning a vacation around my dog. I have become one of those dog moms.
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