chatroulette drinking game turned into a foursome.
It took me four clicks to get to 2009 on his profile. This can't work.
The pregnant Hooters waitress told me to "make good choices".
I just stole a cupcake from somebody's bottle service
And I got $4 when somebody made it rain.
Oh man, buzzed lunch fridays almost got out of hand.
Def something wrong w taking plan b with your daughters juice box
yeah we're mixing orange juice, vodka, and rum and calling it Oj Simpson On Trial
I put on slutty clothes under my normal clothes, im like fucking super slutwoman
Best superhero ever to exist
They got mad when I cut the pizza with an x-acto knife. Oh well, more for me then.
I just remembered you petting my nose last night to help the cocaine 'sink in'. I don't think that's how it works
I have a bottle of rum in my pocket...what does that say about me...
You come prepared
you said, "the pool was totally tequila. and i left my shoe halfway across town. and by shoe i mean car" it appeared to me that you didn't have your shoes or car.
The only words I could make out were "Dicksmash McIroncock".
I'm just letting you know right now in advance that if I die or go to the hospital or end up in jail tonight it's because your kid sold me mushrooms.
Only good thing about the 50 Shades is that it is now completely OK to call a credit card co to dispute the charge for nipple clamps that didnt arrive.
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