I think we should boobie trap our beer this time using duct tape, rubber bands, seran wrap, and urine. Trust me I have a plan and it will work.
I took off my clothes and she wanted to have sex. But then she changed her mind. So we ended up fucking through her panties or something. I don't know it was weird.
distance makes the heart seek blowjobs from girls that are closer i heard.
It's nice to sit in the library and see the progression from freshman pledge to 6th year coke addict all at one table. Gotta love sororities
It got kind of awkward when her dad brought home a 20 something asian girl at 3am
the coastal evacuation route ends at my vagina so you can just skip the bullshit and come over
I don't know where he learned to eat pussy but I thought I was going blind
For whatever reason, whenever she's drunk off Crown, all she wants to do is jerk me off with her feet.
Fuck you know you drunk when you start signing the Masson impossjvke song to entourage yourself to pee
Can we be gay Bert and Ernie for Halloween?
So I'm never gonna get to see you again?
Hopefully.
slept at my ex’s house last night and as i was leaving his brother was sitting there on the sofa and said “bet you regret that one don’t ya”
Well this guy just went into a detailed lecture about how rinos are developing into unicorns.. It's gonna be a good night.
Apparently walking into a national conference and proclaiming "i'm here to fuck shit up" is frowned upon.
Who knew?
There's something about a foam party that makes freshman want to turn their lives into full blown shit shows. And I'm ok with the fact I am one of those.
Randomize
