Brickbreaker makes my post drinking poops that much better. Sorry, I had to tell someone who might agree.
if my spotter knew I was listening to the Wicked soundtrack on my iPod, I wouldn't even be mad if he dropped the barbell on my throat
Now that my 6 day bender is behind me, I just realized I might have been the one who took a shit in our mailbox that past few days.
Vodka @ 9pm. Library. Nothing can go wrong, I promise.
The best, and by the best I mean the worst, was the 7 month along pregnant chick in the skin tight body suit.
for the record, you never really realize how drunk you still are until you get on rollerskates...
who dressed up as a cop at your party???
idk I have to check. Why?
he gave me the best strip search of my life. FIND HIM.
Every time he asks me if I'm horny I'm just like come on...stupid question
Lock the bathroom door next time you are going to masterbate with the shower head, okay?
I was just power-washing my vagina.
It's time to run my sex life like a basketball team. Got the lesson Clint!
Okay, tomorrow we'll have a day of life-sorting and plasma-selling.
I miss the days where our biggest worries were who was gonna win battle shits.
Yeah i like want to be friends with him. And if we have sex in the physics library well thats fine with me
HAVE BEEN SPEAKING IN RUSSIAN ACCENT FOR 5 HOURS
SHIRT GONE
Based on the conversation I'm going to assume you didn't close the deal.
It started going awry when I fell through a roof.
Randomize
