I promise you I could read that dogs mind, he was arguing with the other dog saying he knows how fucked up I am
I love watching the kids I sold drugs to score touchdowns
Hint of advice dont get with minor league baseball players, you can google their stats but not their stds.
I was busy. But now I'm about to consume alcohol and chicken. We shall see where this takes us. Maybe to the moon, maybe to the floor. I have no idea.
Because if not I was going to quote Ryan Lochte as punishment
Thank god I got my shit together
What wine did you feed Jack? Might not want to waste the good stuff on kitties. Kitties only get box wine.
Which I'm also surprisingly fine with. If he walked into the bedroom naked, holding a fish in one hand and a lit candle in the other and said "Let's get fucking weird." I'd probably go with it. He's just that hot.
sometimes it's just necessary to be your own gyno when you're too afraid to tell your mom about your real life
well, mom whipped her new boobs out at the dining room table. So yeah you could say we had a pretty casual thanksgiving
She is dumping me if she doesn't get a ring by Valentines. So one more month of free sex and it will be back to the right hand.
I'm just gonna ride this ego train to sex town
Well let me fuck you while I make potatoes. It's every girls dream
I am at a cat party and I just witnessed people lapping vodka out of a bowl for a contest. Lol
well you did quote socrates while playing beer pong and then proceeded to fall down
last final went out with a bang.. 20 min late bra-less, cum in my hair and i still cant find my shoes.
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