So shortly after drunk sex...she starts crying and saying..." you don't care about me, you never do anything nice for me" so I called her a cab
the next morning i told him i was impressed that he remembered my name. he said it wasn't that hard when "tracy
I think he may have overheard our "how much coke would you fuck me for" conversation last night...
eggs and jello shots do not qualify as 'brunch'
At least he's enough of a gentleman to not make me do the walk of shame dressed as Santa.
I wish a box of wine came w a hose. It'd be so much easier to drink from.
I gave him my yeast infection. HOW THE FUCK DOES THAT EVEN WORK?
He's both a cowboy and a firefighter. Saying "no" was not an option.
We may have picked the wrong resort. Brenna and I have already been propositioned for swinging twice and we've only been here 3 hours
It was less of a bar, and more of an abandoned basement that some people sell booze in.
she said she wouldn't go home with me until she looked up my name in her sex offender app. do i really give off that vibe?
Yeah. It's not just the beard either.
Im like a hedgehog. Easy to corner or get within reach, but tough to get right close to. Like a rooster with its feathers surgically replaced with razors
He was the only one not on Xanax so he holds the key to what actually happened last night
I wanna die. I can't recall the last time I was happy that doesn't involve your hand touching my butt.
I'm to the point of desperation where I stare at customers penis imprints through their pants all day
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