I dont think problem is the right word. Problems arent something you enjoy. Life would be too boring without gambling.
k so who do I think I'm kidding applying to culinary school? I just fucked up a microwaveable pizza
ive come to the point where weve hung out more times sober than drunk. i think im growing up. fuck.
Tuesday night just isn't my ideal coke binge night.
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Just checked my phone. Sometime last night I googled sex positions in a tent. Was there even a tent there?
how was it?
he was petting the bushes because they were "napkins"
I just learned a new drink. Sloppy Ninja. Half Saki Half Nyquil
Oh my god. I just RAN OVER a child. Oh my god this isnt my day. That kid was cool as fuck though
Super stoned right now. And I stared at my exit, thought to myself "hey self. That is your exit" and I kept driving right past it.
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My breasts were aching with rage.
Of course I have a pirate flag
This reminds me of the time you were crying and puking in the toilet at that party while i did shots of tequila in between blow drying your feet. miss you!
It started off with wine and ended up with me in only my pearls and heels. It was about the classiest sexual experience I've ever had.
I think my brain is throwing up inside my head. How do you live like this?
If it makes you feel any better I almost got kicked out of the bar for yelling "enjoy your celebratory incest"
I love you.
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