you used to get mad at me for mentioning 'unprotected sex' and happenings in my bed
well yeah, but then i realized the wisdom of your ways.
I'm trapped in whichever ring of hell is populated by inbred yokels and type 2 diabetes.
He went down on me and then slapped my ass saying "thanks for the confidence boost"... is this all I'm good for?
drinking out of a sandbucket again
Its only fair we share our golden vaginas with the world. It would be selfish if we didn't.
Any clothing i put on is too many clothes.
Yea dude. I'm gonna be the life of the party. THIS BITCH GETS DRUNK BY HERSELF
I want to throw pennies on her stage, or just ripping up a dollor bill and throw them one at a time.
according to last night, I underestimated the size of my mouth and the possibilities of what can fit into it.
Dude tried texting you during but she threw my pants too far away
Sometimes I think about the fact that I lost my virginity while watching anime and I wonder what that says about me
Am I supposed to confront my 52-year-old boss/mother of 3 about the fact that we matched on Tinder?
There's a stripper getting there at 10 though so hopefully I'm out before the stripper gets there. I don't have time to deal with a stripper.
I have 3 bottles of vodka in my room telling me not to go to work tomorrow.
he's been dating her for 18 months and cheating on her with me for 16. if that's not commitment, i don't know what is.
Randomize
