We'll see haha. The cum didn't work...I just chewed the whole thing in a day.
I hope you meant gum...
your facebook page is a work of drunk art.
you dragged me by my throat over to the shots. this is a new level of alcoholism..
the water pistols in the freezer are full of voddka.
If you get me so fucked up I can't use the microwave , I'm going to be so mad at you
I just really need to get the matching flask to go with my pill box. Is this another step towards rock bottom?
I ended up passing out on the shitter for like an hour with mcds smoothie all over my face
It's amazing how not interested in talking to him I am since I've decided that he probably has chlamydia.
According to the red cross, I'm not suppose to do anything strenuous for the next 24 hours. That means you're on top.
You need to be full form and virile tomorrow so I can live vicariously through your rub and tug.
I have alotted at least an hour for ugly crying.
I like it here so far, only people are a lot less accepting of my terrible decisions and it's cramping my style
He radiates elegant sexual dominance. I bet even his balls have pinstripes.
The cashier looked at my basket, looked at me and said "That's a lot of wine." I looked at her and said "Mother in law." She nodded approvingly.
I need my comforter. Pls bring it to me and drape me in it like an animal pelt. Ps I'm naked.
Randomize
