We walked because you started screaming when you finally realized he wasn't Ben Bailey and it wasn't the Cash Cab.
he told me I talked like a deaf person
Am I a whore if I make out with a boy just so michelle can't?
is it really high of me to have brought my own hot sauce to wendys?
he was terrible at kissing, so i just kept letting him motorboat me. he seemed very pleased with my choice
Turned the water balloon filler into a jungle juice fire extinguisher. Please call me tomorrow afternoon and make sure that i'm still alive.
Its against the rules to not make you aware of his virgin situation prior to penetration
He stripped down to boxers and then started flinging jello shots with a spoon into people's mouths like a catapult.
He's like a fucking cake pop, the greatest thing in the world while it lasts, but it never lasts for long enough
Nothing says male bonding like watching porn with your grandpa
He found a way to charmingly ask me for a threesome and when I said no he made it sound like he was even happier. He's a fucking wizard
no it was not a "magical experience". After we dropped, he just sat there staring at my laptop going "apple makes beautiful things".
I fell asleep in the bathroom during my mothers dinner party with no pants on. Her friend walked In. I was told to not come back.
We're at the liquor store. Then going to the hospital
i accidentally gave my stepdad ketamine so id say it was a fun weekend.
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