this boner is exhausting
after watching ten minutes of "the decision," I conclude that King Lebron has more influence on America than Barak Obama. I love our countries values.
New game: find the sober person in Tbell
Apparently blazed enough to think that the sizzling meatballs in the pan were calling your name...Ssssteeeeeve
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
listening to happy ending by mika while imagining him to run after me at an aiport in slow motion... also, dipping oreos in baileys. not taking this breakup well. at. all.
It was an 11am booty call. We were both out of our element.
the only good thing about breaking up with him while naked was that i got to make a forgetting sarah marshall reference
Sundays should be dedicated to Girl Scout cookies, sex, and super hero movies.
She's got a butler. A fucking butler. Shes like batman, but with a better ass.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
When people ask about my bruises, I'm just going to say it was a doorknob. Or possibly a group of doorknobs. Angry doorknobs.
No ambien sex tonight. I just ate two hotdogs with chilli and onions.
Pretty sure I love my nipple piercing more than I'll love my children someday
I'll never lecture you, go get that dick baby girl make momma proud,I didn't raise no quitter
also, my mom just called to make sure the dick tattoo on your arm was fake..
Ever look at an ex and wonder...was I drunk that entire relationship??
Yes, yes I do.
Randomize