How is your vagina???
Double booked
With your butt?
Totes, candlesticks and all
Yay!!
Do you think this abandoned cigarette has herpes? cuz I'm tempted.
my 12 year old sister just told me how admirable it was that i felt comfortable going out with my friends dressed "like that"
Peanut butter while high is kinda stressful
So what do you think the policy is on vomit in rental cars? do I have to clean that up or is that part of the service I'm paying for?
He said female orgasms are a myth and refuses to even try to give me one.
He broke hus nose arm jousting with the traffic cones... We need to make head shots illegal or get helmets or something
He woke me up at 3 am, turned me on, then changed his mind. There is no way he is getting out of twilight now.
If you really loved me, you'd support my weed habit.
As the person who squeezed you out of my vagina, the answer is no.
I'm taking a pole dancing class this morning. Can I put you down as my emergency contact? I'm NOT putting my mother
You rinsed the beer pong ball off in my White Russian
I've officially dedicated my newly single life to making myself squirt.
at what point last night did i get this tattoo of an anchor made of dicks?
around eleven
Now just crop his dad out and add it to the spank bank.
I love you. You know I enjoy the constant sex noises
Randomize
