I cant take that shot because i want my penis to stay hard.
he saw my "i like bacon" magnet on the fridge and i told him how much i love meat, then we started making out
what a beautiful fairy tale
The only reason you're wearing underwear tonight is cause you have a family dinner before
just saw ex-bf. should he be more embarrassed to be a college dropout working at rite aid or should i be because i was buying newports and rembrant?
tie
I am at a striph cluv. They are ovealls everywhere. I have hot rock botto.
soo I had sex last night and he wore a condom, pulled out sans condom. we looked everywhere and couldnt find it, even in my vag. so Im in the library at school and I googled it and it gave me "gentle digging" techniques, and sure enough, found it. ew. I'll be purchasing Plan B after class.
I wonder if she thought to herself "I'm gonna sleep with that guy tonight" when she watched me puke on the bar at 3 in the afternoon?
I'm currently sitting on the floor of a hostel reception area taking swigs of straight vodka, singing with people whose English doesn't go far beyond Lion King songs. I thought you might appreciate it.
Yes. Be the home wrecker you've always dreamed of being.
I just look @ having a child spit on you as another form of birth control. I think my ovaries just tied themselves in a knot.
His mom already thought we were lesbians BODY SHOTS WERE JUST NOT AN OPTION SORRY
How about we just fuck in random places all around campus, and skip the boring relationship part?
please remind me of this if i ever start out a night declaring my goal is to see how much american honey it takes for me to forget who i am again
Just had a threesome for the second time in my life. I don;t even enjoy threesomes. Too much effort.
HOW DO THESE THINGS KEEP HAPPENING TO YOU?
cinco de mayo stole my toenail
cinco de mayo stole my virginity.
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