The way you explained my vagina was exactly the way I would of described my breakfast burrito.
he has officially spend more money on me than any other boy. and its all gone to plan b. awesome.
Fuckbuddy couldn't meet, so she's trying to find a substitute to come fuck me. Best. Fuckbuddy. Ever.
Sorority life is like alcoholic girl scouts, plus douchebags in polos.
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"Home for the holidays" isn't clearance to fuck the recently 18 year old high schooler right?
Nope, his last birthday was.
After my date left I rallied and took the Asian girl home. Flexibility my friend.
I would come over if there was not the impending fear of me shitting out my brains.
I've just never heard the term serendipitous used to describe having one's asshole licked.
I swear man, you fly across the country to give a boy your virginity and he suddenly thinks you like him
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Do you always skip to "Baby Got Back" when fat girls show up at the bar?
Just taxi'd to the airport holding a zip lock bag of my own vomit. Bachelorette success.
He's only giving you free adderall so you can focus on his dick.
Just motorboated this 18 year old girl at the bar. The first time was my idea the other 3 she made me. Maybe turning 27 won't be so bad. Haha.
just woke up with nickles taped to my body. theres like a dollar worth.
Want to have dinner and we can talk about how my vagina can make you feel better?
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