theres no point in washing my sheets anymore. its always going to be a fine layer of booze and semen.
how was your night?
well, i just purchased 'sorry for being a drunk whore' cupcakes. how do you think my night was?
you can't exactly throw up or pass out at the pentagon so i had to pull my shit together
I just took went to the bathroom and it smelt like blue curococo... I didn't flush yet so head on up if you wanna know what a good night smells like.
drunk doesnt even begin to explain it. he said he was going to get playing cards from the lobby and came back 20 minutes later with a full set of sheets.
You know, he picked a really shitty time to stop sleeping with me to pay attention to his girlfriend.
I am going to make your legs soar from cumming so much
Like they're going to fly away?
I will not hesitate to go down on a dick for some cream soda.
Blonde girl lying face-down, passed out next to my bed, walls are covered in guacamole. College is looking excellent.
drunk grocery shopping was not as bad of an idea as i thought, this salmon cat food tastes a lot like tuna
All is fair in love and war and toga parties
The walk home lasted longer than the sex. He lives in the flat above the bar.
Totally on the hot mess express last night. Mom said I was passed out on her kitchen floor. Told her I was drinking genuine tea.
I'm now using my vagina for good, not evil. Trying to restore balance to the force.
So learned a new trick last night.... Taking body shots from my own tits... Mom would be so proud
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