i jhust puked up my retainher.
problem. drunk. stepbrother hitting on me again. help.
The guy asked if i had a problem w/set schedules
I puked last after eating a volcano taco and drinking vodka. I felt like a fucking dragon.
just found a piece of pizza in my dresser.....i remember you saying you were going to save one for later so i'm assuming this is your doing
why did I try to FaceTime with 311 last night?
gay flight attendant. racoons. kegels. bartender with missing teeth. too many birthdays. fucckk.
I let him watch sportscenter while we fucked. How did he repay me? I'm now missing class to get a shot in the ass for the clap. You and I are getting wasted and keying someone's car this weekend.
We kept trying to bring you to the hospital but you had a tantrum and kept saying you would never be Miss America
i asked the cop if we could stop and do a chinese firedrill.... he said no.
Bonded with the ladies at the perfume outlet by saying "help me smell like i'm not hungover before my shift starts". This is not where I wanted my life to be
Like I owe him sex. Hell fucking no. I owe myself sex. With a celebrity. Or a clean pornstar. Who knows.
Anybody can graduate from college sober. You try it while being stoned every day for the last three years. 2.75 baby.
Naked. Naked is my favorite color.
I am not even ashamed to say it, I got laid in the stairwell of the hotel, by a 29 year old. It was awesome!
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