I'll just stay a virgin forever then
You still have to go anyway
Then I guess I'll have to start sleeping around
Yes, one should always join a cult. At least once.
Shiiiit I think I'm getting sick. probably had something to do with the fact that i shared my mouth with everyone last night.
Wait. That came out far sluttier than I intended.
The waiter to-go cupped my bloody mary without me even asking. THAT hungover.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
ya, but you'll graduate college with a higher education. I'm looking at at least two addictions, an abortion, and a few weeks jail time.
I maybe just had sex outside in broad daylight. At a state park. Please be proud.
Don't let her tell you any different. She licked the balls of my hamster for that $100. It was a group bet. She won.
FYI: telling a guy his dick is more impressive than you remembered it - they don't take it as a compliment.
Also I feel that I would be a hell of a sled dog operator.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Bored of what? I stayed up all night researching sex toys because I'm excited to do things with you that I haven't done in 29 years of having a body.
There is a midget in cheetah face paint on a leash here
I didn't know that all of his brothers would be hot and musical too. That's a dick move on behalf of biology.
I sat on his face and watched Mean Girls. It was a good date.
Right before he dumped me... he got a really ugly pair of pants. They were twill pants. A pinkish color. When I'm sad... I picture him in them. It makes me smile.
i had sex with a girl named after a fruit last night and it was the best thing to happen to me in 2020
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