I puked while I was brushing my teeth this morning and had to get a new tbrush
Ew, did you brush them again?
Yeah but i puked on the new one and decided to give up...failure
The mall is playing a fucking country mix of lady marmalade.
welcome to maine.
Just threw up off a chairlift. my life is now complete.
I think misery doesn't even think of me as company anymore. I'm an unofficial roommate.
She bought a fucking hedgehog. And that's just the tip of the crazy iceberg.
I wish I could walk around this campus with a big stamp that says "Approved" and just stamp girls asses as they pass.
Last time I get high to write a paper the night before it's due. "Tiny Wings and sexuality" is not an acceptable topic to for a paper. Class in 30 minutes. I'm fucked...
i saw the poster for your lost tequila... what a shame
Unemployment check just came in. As soon as I stop pretending I have morals I'm buying weed. Puff puff pass uncle sam.
its weird that my cat bites every fat chick i bring home. i repeat every fat chick, qhT KINDA FRIEND ARE YOU
Last time we had an ultimatum like that, things went very far south. I'm down, but it's your turn to wake up in a hospital.
You gave me the best orgasm of my life. I'm buying you a house
he just ran into my room in his giant penis costume yelling "supercock to the rescue"... I am still in total shock
You just kept looking down at your tits and screaming "I LOVE YOU TWO!!!"
Interesting, I was always told to run away from crazy, but you seem to think we should run towards them dick first.
Randomize