yea and when she crawled to her room she yelled at a bookbag to "get the fuck out my way"
She's the rare girl who loses weight and gets uglier.
We had like 4 guys come over and buy us all drinks as an excuse to hit on Kendra. Hanging out with her is now officially fiscally responsible.
we found you eating frozen orange juice with a spoon and then drinking vodka from the bottle.
We're the kind of people who ruin family vacations
Soooo, if his status went from married to single and he deleted all the pictures of his kids does that mean he's up for dibbs?
He picked me up went to throw me on his bed. I landed on the wood frame. That's how I broke my rib. We still fucked. Thanks tequila. Best injury ever
I can feel myself smiling like 10 minutes after I stop smiling, and that's just like... so awesome.
it's not like this is the first time she's brought a guy home and I'm the one who hooks up with him
I'll do a soapy photo shoot for you in the shower. No loofas, though. Once you get one of those caught in your nipple ring, you never go back.
I just had a great idea for an etsy shop. Sell all the shit bitches leave from one nighters
I was going to text you that earlier, but I felt like before 10 was probably to early to bring up boners
You ever feel like just rubbing your face in everything like a dog?
One of the finest moments in my life was when I was puking in between my legs as I was shitting, and thought to myself "hmm this shall be called shomiting."
I made him dinner in just his cowboy hat and my boots after we did it...you should see his face :)
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