ok plan lets look hot and dance like whores.
Woke up in a different state, wearing only a bk crown. My boxers are in a tree and I think I went to the hospital last night.....
I told you not to do acid with the girl who works the late shift at 7-11
All four of us managed to throw up in the same bathroom at different times during the night. I think we'll get along great living together.
Omg. The news was on TV while I was giving him a bj...when the weatherman said its a beautiful start to December, he groaned and said it sure is.
You told me you had two boobs that want to be naked for me. I'm just following up on your request.
The last time I went to Vegas and the sun started to rise, my copilot went home with her nipples pierced.
God it's like my stomach is full of drunk bees
I decided taking Molly and seeing Birdman seemed like a wise life choice.
He broke into my house because he missed me. Then ends the relationship because I'm the needy one. Ironic much?
The contents of my fridge consist of alcohol, Nuva ring, and cheesecake. I'm that girl.
What could go wrong? i could have a mental breakdown with a bottle of champagne hand cuffed to a frat bro
Yiu ever laugh so hard you stop breathing? Turns out weed -can- kill you.
I apologize for there being a shopping cart in the living room. I don't know how why or where i got it.
I just had a 30-minute convo with an irrelevant fuckboy from college who decided to tell me FOUR years later he’s sorry for sleeping with 3 girls at once including me.
Ever find a porn video so groundbreaking you mentally cancel all your Dick Appointments for the week?
Randomize
