she looked like she should be chained to micheal vicks radiator
i have a $600 bill for my ER visit in which they did nothing but suggest to me that i am an alcoholic.
She had a group on her phone called "great fucks". I was in it. It's almost like making the forbes list
I know I'm her Sunday school teacher. I just feel I would be saving others from a lot of headaches by telling her someday she's going to be a stripper
Be prepared to possibly be invited to a fancy strip club breakfast on Friday and be prepared to say yes.
When I say drunk I mean that in the process of filming a fratstar cooking show they threw a keg into the street where the police came to clean it up. now all they can say is "THE KEG GOT ARRESTED."
He was leaving the restaurant I was going to as I was parking. I didn't want to scream, "hey, didn't I jerk you off?" Out of my window at 10 am
I'm so excited you texted me but I'm way to high to process it
My dad told me to bring weed to easter Sunday dinner..
She invited us over for cocaine and donuts
And for today's main disappontment. I thought I saw a midget with fireworks get on the buss, alas it's a child with cleaning supplies
Im sorry you'll never get the feeling of closeness when you go to pee outside and you realize you're peeing right where someone else just peed
YOU SHOULD HAVE BEEN THE FIRST VISITOR TO CHRISTMASLAND
Don't tell me you're on acid again
Actually I learned to fire a 357 Magnum at the age of ten while on my very first period
Randomize
