At Wal-Mart last night I watched two guys scramble for $4.34 to pay for a pack of ping pong balls and red solo cups. They had to put the .34 on a credit card. Winter break begins!
they started a semi-successful rumor that toby keith died. who says fraternities don't have goals
i havent blinked in 235 seconds. now 247. now 258. 263. 267. 271. i also have been gifted with theability to both type and count and not blink. 293 so magical
I just bought the ATT family protection plan so that I could block all of my old bar hookups from booty calling me...
I keep confusing the name of her and her dog. Both are appropriate.
of course we have a beer bong
how else would we feed our christmas tree
The least you could do is send me some gibberish so I know you're alive.
Fuhga
Thank you.
Yes... I'll kill two birds with one crazy ecstacy filled night.
Only you would have a vasectomy while you're awake and report on the soundtrack first
Don't send me nudes asking me to come fuck you on lunch break then send me a video of kids you're babysitting.
I better make out with at least 3 princesses and 4 animals this weekend.
When you're done railing that chick, there is still half a pizza and some ninja turtle mac and cheese down here if you want
I fell out of the car while it was moving then got puked on then puked and cried about then got back in the car and puked out the window when we started moving again
She unfriended me four minutes after we fucked. That must be some sort of record.
Just almost drowned myself in the shower again. I need an adult.
Randomize
