i have it on good authority that she is not as good at giving head as she claims she is
I didn't have a rubber, but my dick had a date with a clorox wipe after we finished. I think I'm in the clear.
After we hooked up, he left the room and no one has seen him since last night. That kid redefined hit it and quit it.
He was spoon feeding me wine all night.
I almost shit my pants in anger over your moral sanity.
I swear to god, allah, buddah and motherfucking oprah winfrey... if I have to stay here any longer because you are holding us up I will choke you out.
We decided to make playlists for each other. Do you know any songs that say "sorry I'm not as hot as your prostitute ex?"
3-9 out of 10... Depends on the situation. Taco Bell is more of an idea than a restaurant.
How stoned are you?
I don't know. What do people who don't get stoned do?
I took did three shots of fireball and did and handstand. When I stood up some busty slut lead me my the hand down the hall into her dorm room.
But I'm sure your having and "a monumentally better time" repeating the 12th grade
You will drink beer in a kiddie pool in your back yard but you wont bring a girl home
I just found a reminder in my phone to ask you about your sex life in 7 years. So how is that going?
don't bring your nerd jargon into this conversation about my naked body
I am getting off work an hour early just to watch you drink. Never let it be said that I don't love you.
Access to a Target is paramount to my general happiness and self-worth.
Randomize
