it's amazing how much more room there is in my purse when I'm not carrying alcohol in it
You dont understand. she was my french AND spanish teacher. that's 2 kinds of freaky. i have to find her on facebook.
I must say your penis is just as photogenic as you
I'll bring the barf blanket just in case.
found my necklace. it was safe with all 6 boxes of peeps that i bought that night.
please promise me that no matter what happens you will keep me away from the children
I recommend just blowing him. It's always the way to go.
I just told him I want him to "take the reins". At least its festive sexting?
I'm so busy i barely have time to have sex with myself. I have to talk myself into it like an old married couple.
I just realized why I have little cuts all over my fingers. There was a broken pint glass in my purse last night.
someone just got arrested on campus...
holy fuck look at all that cocaine
how much do I hate his dog? was just googling to see if you can rent a hungry eagle for the weekend hate.
This weekend I was almost blinded by a cumshot to the eye, so happy Labor Day I guess
so is it socially acceptable to send her an "i got my man back you whore" card?
I woke up on the couch screaming in pain. I don't know how ended up there or why my foot was double the size. all I know is I'm now in a cast and never drinking tequila again. worst hangover ever.
Randomize
