"you've got the devil in yuh. the curse of Jesus is coming on your sex soon." That's what a homeless guy just told me.
The bouncer asked you what your sign was and u replied "syracuse"
If I die I am blaming you for not answering to tell me the proper dosage of horse tranquilizers to take
I almost puked on my graduation application. perfect.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I'd be careful with that one, she got 86'd from the family dollar while SOBER.
He sent me a mirror pic of himself and sent it to me and all i could think about was the amazing bong hits i took with his roommate in that bathroom.
I must be the strongest person who ever managed to get knocked down by a pug.
Well, maybe we can talk about it over a drink and some crushed up vicodin.
Dad got stoned the other day and bought us potty training seats for when we have children
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Sean slept in the bushes beside my house again. Any reason he kept screaming/slurring 'it was all a bunch of goddamn lies' through out the night?
Why aren't you two playing Dora the explorer with each other's genitals yet?
I'm gonna chug this bud light an might injure this high school penis, like I'm 17 again
If I just skip sleeping, does hangover still happen? Gonna try it. Will report back. StTAND BY
The only good thing about the sex was that he finally cracked the spot on my back that's been hurting.
Is it too early to start looking for freshmen penises to corrupt with our liquor and yoga pants?
I was just wondering the same thing! Gotta be any day now
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