It will be a surprise...all i can say is stripper clown
It didn't get weird until she took off her underwear, looked down, and said "fill her up!"
Just charged fat mistake $3 for a beer.
ITS DAYLIGHT SAVINGS TIME SUNDAY EVERYTHING IS GOING TO BE OK AFTER ALL
All I need is the Internet and a place to drink.
he pulled a $400 bottle of champagne out of the back part of his toiled and I was ready to blow him then and there
Just ate tuna on a frozen waffle because we were out of bread.
This is why you don't have nice things.
The boat wouldn't start, so we brought it back to her house and we've been sitting in it in her driveway for the past 5 hours drinking beer and yelling at peoplee.
I hope you get eaten by satanic starfish.
That broad from the bar put her name in my phone as "The girl I'm going to marry in 10 years".
I feel like I got hit by a truck. And I vaguely remember getting into an argument with a passive aggressive Ron Burgundy in a onesie- grown man, not a baby- about the pronunciation of New Orleans
Hooray! My email address wasn't leaked by Ashley Madison!
I will chop off your penis
Idk if I should be worried or amused that my autocorrect changes the word STD to DTF.
I think I puked in the middle of sex last night if that's any indication as to how drunk I was.
He went down on me and then made me breakfast in bed. He's a man you can bring home to mom.
Randomize
