the last time I saw her she was leaving the mens bathroom and club rush with her dress inside out. typical tease.
Dude, she DOES look like she'd give good head. No bottom jaw, I checked.
i am only reminding you that showing off your fellatio skills on vegetables is probably not an appropriate party trick
I gave her a mint afterward. It felt like giving turndown service at Hotel BJ.
I had a terrible day! The only thing that makes me feel better is knowing Jack Bauers day was worse.
Just wanted to remind you that you literally cut the underwear off a man.
Isn't it statistically impossible for THAT many ugly people to be in one place at one time?
it's been dubbed the summer of antibiotics
Things I have that belong to you: shorts, headband, bra, purse, chinese food, vodka, and blood on my jeans. Happy homecoming.
Do something fun then. Blow up the house or whatever.
How have you survived this long?
Dumb luck and a deal with the devil.
Dude. I don't even want cuddles. I just want an acknowledgement that I just had balls in my mouth.
I somehow turned head, shoulders, knees, and toes into a sobriety test
He texted "fuck you" before blocking me on all social media. Come to think of it, that's also the last thing my mother said to me. Could it be that I'm the problem?
It's Valentine's Day, I figure for sure we'll have sex today, right? Wrong. I tried unsuccessfully for like an hour to get him to fuck me. Now he's asleep and I'm on my way to join the public library.
Didn't think I'd be dancing with the Power Rangers but here I am
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