that's an acceptable place to lick
the sex was "jacking off to playboy" bad.
She called picking up at 2pm a matinee drug deal.
I'm really glad that we can be casual hook up buddies. This is a true friendship. Now, please convince your roommate to do the same. Thanks.
Dude. You gotta go home. I think I left the snake hanging on the chandelier.
I'm never drinking again. I saw way more penises than I ever cared to see last night. And I've decided that I'm going to live in Scotland.
I need an explanation for both of these epiphanies.
I'm just to the point my give a fucks is so far in the red that I'm going to have to take out a 30yr loan of fucks to repay it
At least you didn't lose your virginity to chumbawumba
Woke up to I'm AWESOME written in purple crayon all over my walls. I love drunk me
just saw the most amazing side boob. i wanted to hold it.
we had to follow your trail of clothes to find you.......
I just fuked with kevins application and made it say that he does conjugal visits for community service
hey some people donate their time while apparently kevin donates his body
he bought me ice cream then took me home and fucked the shit outta me. you can't write this kinda romance.
It's routine now. He comes home from work and i ride him like a cowgirl with only a few sips of wine. I love being his neighbor.
Well the cops were called after the kid fell, but we saw 4 cute guys from our window while it was going down, so it wasn't all that bad.
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