4:12a: just got back to his place now. I don't want to talk about it
My mom just told me that the key to a successful marriage is never seeing your partner take a shit.
For the millionth time in his career, Brett Favre has screwed over the Vikings
the date was going great.. until he pulled down his pants and asked if there was any hair in between his cheeks.
On the quad today: An amish choir singing something weird, and not 30 feet away 3 girls tanning topless. Definition of diversity.
He wheeled me around walmart in a cart, and stole at least 30 dollars of junior mints fpr me. Best date ever.
My drug dealer just asked me to go see Les Mis on Christmas. Should I be worried this is some type of musical set-up?
Would jacking off with Benadryl cream be good or bad for the poison oak on my dick?
you can't get cum all over my hair and then tell me you just want to be friends
The bottle brush for the bong worked really well to clean the brownies out of the waffle maker.
When he mumbled "I can't feel my legs," proceeded to stand, fall over, and just lay there I knew I'd given great head...
Who wakes up at 9 and says "let me send a pic of my dick to my ex gf"
The taste of regret at 8am, yup that taste is Jack Daniel's
If I call him daddy should I get him a father's day card? Serious question
Can you explain to me why I showed my boobs to the firemen to get free beer?
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