sorry i interrupted the heart to heart you were having with your bathrobe last night
is it bad that I only want to go to my boyfriends house bc I want to see his roomate walk around with his shirt off?
He invited me to see "alison wonderland" WHAT THE FUCK THATS NOT A FIRST NAME/LAST NAME TYPE DEAL
You were pissed we didn't change the movie to Eurotrip so you kept singing "Scotty Doesn't Know" over and over until you passed out.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
im sleeping in a hamic at a mansion. best hangover ever
Wow. He pulled out his dick and I swear I heard a thud from it hitting the floor.
I am fine. Katie thinkr i broke things pole dancing. I am coherant.
Hey, I got 20% of the people home that I was responsible for. I can't be expected to do much more.
if I open my eyes, my head will explode. that hungover.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
In this town being related to a brewing family or the owner of a sports team is like being royalty. It's like hooking up with the queen's nephew or something.
Was it fun? The night started with home made Jager and ended in him falling out of a tree with a pocket full of house numbers...you tell me.
Remember that girl from my stats. class that I ran into at the bar 2 weeks ago? She literally hasn't been to class once since I told her I sit behind her.
You better not fucking die before we have sex while you blow fire. I'm serious. Don't mess up my sexual bucket list.
Legit sprained my cooter. No joke. Icing her down as we speak.
The guy in the cage next to me is having phone sex. His girlfriend is in College Library. Why is my life ridiculous.
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