on the list of things id be doing when i was almost 30, waiting for a girl to finish shitting the bed wasn't on there.
She just kept screaming you name over and over. Im starting to think this is my alarm clock
Hey if there is a better reason to go drink then "I've been fucking robbed!" I have yet to hear one. Also, I've been fucking robbed.
lets just use each other and get past this awkward stage. forget my name.
The sun is so bright. Whhyyyyy. EYES ARE DEAD.
Okay throwing up in my mouth a little = time to go home
What can i say, i'm an artist. I think deep thoughts. In between the homoerotica and pterodactyl noises
You're married and I'm going to make out with a stranger tonight. Isn't that weird? It's like a gap in the time space continium.
I'm gonna get drunk in the shower and yell at my parents during dinner. Have fun in Texas.
Happy 420. I woke up to a girl smoking weed and dragging me out of bed. Chemistry makes so much sense high.
Apparently, Lolla sends you an email every time you use your wristband to buy a beer.
21 new emails...yikes
That's why i need nudes. Plutonic nudes.
I like being woken up by phone calls of you sabotaging marriages
You know more about his cock specs than his childhood. Proud of you
There might be a dead possum in your bed, your roomate is extremely distressed!
Randomize
