Oh yes. The girl who wanted me to watch her pee.
Her sex list was a LOT longer than mine. She tried to justify it by saying '4 of those don't count because they were in the gang bang'.
She compared sex to doing dishes."You scrub them until they're wet."
FYI don't ever, ever get a lap dance from a stripper who says " she's having a bad day " at a bachelor party.
just because she threw up on my junk doesnt mean i dont like asians anymore
Bob the builder, bob the uilder bob the builder bbbbbbbbbbbbbbbbjbbbbbiotch!pp!!!!
I feel like today should be a " im going to have sex with you cause its raining and theres nothing else to do" kinda day
Oh my god I peed in a park last night and then tried to set off fireworks with a group of middle-aged men
My attempts to make you laugh have failed exceedingly. Naked snap chats it is
The woman that sang I Touch Myself died today. There's only one appropriate way to honor her memory.
I'm on the job.
Sounds good. I'm hoping to have my life together by next week but you never know I guess.
i now know why i keep getting pictures of poop. apparently someone put my number in a girls bathroom saying i am a poop lover.
you text any of them back? this is probably the most women you'll ever have texting you in your life. don't squander a good thing
Pumped to get "pass out-wake up in Berlin-buy a chinchilla" drunk?
I had just gotten to his place and was about to get some dick. No way was I gonna let her negative attitude affect my orgasm feng shui
You wouldn't eat with utensils. You insisted on making your own spoon out of a bendy straw and staples while singing "I'm a survivor" by Destiny's Child.
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