Oh man dude like 1000 to 1500 milligrams. Its gonna burn like bad though.
Mind blown. Apparently, it's PRErogative, not PERogative. I blame Bobby Brown.
My co-worker just asked me if i colored my hair. Time to take a shower.
Just made a pepperoni sandwich with cheese, mayo, and pickles. Poverty is like pot, without the happy feeling.
You going out tonight?
No I am at the hospital. Throwing up blood is apparently frowned upon.
You stuck your head out the window to puke and got hit with a mailbox.
What is their policy on bow ties and belligerence?
Just realized I probably only have one more wedding where I can say I fucked the bride.
i need some food
Holy shit I forgot about you stabbing him.
Oooo yea. You face planted on my bed but only half your body made it so you noodled onto the floor but kept saying prepare to be murdered which is when you started taking your pants off but stopped at your ankles cause it was too hard
Well shit, I would've slept with him if I knew he was gonna be in the draft.
I just licked a piece of cheese off my phone screen if that makes you feel any better
I made out with a guy dressed as the pdx airport carpet.
Portlandia didn't prepare you for that?
i black out too much to be "responsible"
Welcome aboard the S.S. struggle. I'll be your captain for today's voyage and Jeremy is your first mate. Just sit back and relax while we navigate the seas of drunken regret. Your forecast for the day is violently hungover with a chance of "shit, that really did happen!"
Randomize
