You know how I know he's a virgin? He's wearing transition lenses.
Because ur a stupid bitch
Actually, I'm graduating from college on Saturday so that makes me a well educated bitch.
Hey do you have anything at your house 30 ft. tall to throw eggs off of?
i told my boss i want to eat her tits. 90 percent sure i'm getting fired
I just debated creating a mirror system so I could play Batman while in the bathroom. I think I need help.
I already knew that. But I also don't agree with stifling creativity.
It really does creep me out though that the next ten years will involve my friends creating smaller versions of themselves because to be honest I don't know how much I like some of them. So that thought it really scary
I look like a bag of dicks so if you could ugly yourself up that'd be great.
she hacked my macbook and downloaded an illegal version of the original pokemon red, completely nude in my computer chair. there were several levels of hornyness existing all at once
I wish there was a morning after pill for dominoes.
Giiirrrllll. Back to back snaps of dicks. Two different guys sent me their dick at the same time. This is totally what our founding fathers meant with life, liberty, and the pursuit of happiness.
You know the sex was rough when you wake up with a chipped tooth. I have no regrets
The economy cant be that bad, I willingly got fired to bang her again.
Is it bad form to puke out of a dorm window to avoid looking bad in front of the people in your room?
How about from a sixth floor window?
All I know is I woke up in the back seat of my car, with the engine on, and my gps navigated to florida.
"They won't do it. I'm in the middle of darkness. " and "Probably going to die. I've been walking for 50 minutes in one direction" are the last texts I got from Steve
Randomize
