Just got a citation from campus security for an "accordion disturbance."
thanks for showing me a good time......and your penis a few times. Thanks especially for that.
then he compared my vagina to a dishwasher. A DISHWASHER?!
I thought your voice was coming from the walls. I've never been so relieved to find you naked in a closet
i turned my shower on this morning and passionfruit pulp came out. how did you even do that?
Let's be honest. I make up for my well below average sized penis with a great personality and a possibly successful future
All hell broke loose. When the police showed up, this kid somehow haggled with a cop to let him pee in public. I'm convinced he could talk the panties off of a nun
You ever fart so hard while you are asleep that you wake up screaming?
There is what appears to be urine on the woman's bathroom sink. I just have so many questions right now.
Don't Richard Nixon her vagina
Still drunk. lying on the floor just rubbing my cats nipples
It's time you knew: I have been dating your probation officer for 7 months. Pretty certain he's THE ONE. So, thanks for being a criminal.
You mentioned his name and i threw up a little.
I think the cashier at 7/11 might be planning an intervention for me.
Third time this week I've caught co workers dry humping. Quarantine really changes people's priorities.
Randomize
