I woke up from my nap, looked out my window, and saw about bout 6 people get tasered in less than 20 seconds.....could someone please tell me what's going on.
Gave a homeless guy 3 bucks earlier. Just saw him at the bar. He bought one beer and left. Happy to see my 3 dollars was well spent
we traced the origins of this shit fest of a relationship back to a single instance of road head. then we did a reinacment
I don't think boys are aware how difficult it is to take a picture of your own ass.
Why do I love Florida? Because I just quit my job because it's too pretty a day to go to work and I'm going to the beach to eat seafood and drink beer.
Dude between pissing everywhere and all of those frogs, that bathroom got wrecked.
A blow job from a tiger shark would still entail less risk to your genitals than having sex with her.
Me too. We could do it like prostitutes. No kissing on the mouth.
Ok I am NOT pregnant. I could shove coal up my vagina and my uterus would turn it into a diamond in a matter of minutes
He walked into the pizza shop... Pulled the fire alarm.. And proceeded to dance to it...
you kept saying "i will not *breathe* regret this *breathe* in the morning *breathe* i just gotta remember *breathe* to BREATHE"
Twist to Josh's story, he had a gyro in his hand and never dropped it even after he got knocked the fuck out
You stopped making out with some rando guy to tell him you weren't sure about your sexuality then proceeded to follow me down the street to make out with me
Oh my god I'm in a public bathroom with a space heater. I never want to leave
If I die here, tell my vagina and my cats that I'm sorry.
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