besides im still about 80% sure that im eskimo brothers with jerry springer
Ate apple sauce off his penis. Nutritious and slutty.
WHYAREWHITEGUYSSOBADINBED?! What the fuck went wrong, evolution?
She just tried to talk over a fart. The fart was way longer than the sentence she originally wanted to say so she just added gibberish to the end. Gross
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
A guy wearing a shirt that says "eat shit and die motherfucker" just held open a door for me. He's got manners.
And we just chatted casually as i peed on the floor and she peed in the toilet
I would really just like to get laid somewhere that's not on a bathroom floor at this point in my life
seriously, who doesn't want to get shitfaced and have sex to the backstreet boys?
Because 9 pm Thursday you drink a loco cause you just wanna get drunk and have a good time with your friends. Then you wake up on Tuesday and you've had 17 locos and you're pregnant, lying on the side of the road, 3 states over. THAT'S why we don't have only locos parties.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I was gonna turn him down, but he correctly identified a song from Pocahontas.
Are you in a good mood because I stuffed you with enchiladas, ice cream, penis, and cuddles last night?
When you wake up to a porn star on your couch telling you, you better tell your boyfriend about last night.
His middle name is Julius so I named his penis Caesar and told him he has to say "Hail Caesar!" whenever he comes. He didn't seem to like the idea, though.
where are you guys?
stoned at his house watching water boil
I managed to convince her that the egg yolks were actually orange juice and she fell for it
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