she has a miserable personality but its a good think you dont have sex with that
pussy has no personality
Amen to that
i just realized the only form of arm exercise i get is holding my arms up in the stand up tanning booth
I heard that if you win you get to have sex with me. You guys really need to stop wagering my vagina.
my mom just wingman'd for me at a bar. i really don't know what else to say.
No amount of marijuana is enough to justify blood on my ceiling
I can't wait for round whatever # we're on tonight.
My god. His mom just smacked my ass. Does this mean I'm accepted??
Climbing out Mr. Friday night's bathroom window. He thinks I'm puking. Be on state st. with the getaway car and if you could bring me a shirt and some advil that'd be dandy.
So proud. See you in five. I've got coffee.
Your heart is a swirling cauldron of blackness that does not pump blood but rather a sludgey mixture of evil and broken dreams.
What am I doing with my life
Sleeping with dudes who have peacocks apparently.
This strange Italian man told me he wants to take me for ice cream and kept calling me "tomato" from tinder
Well.. If you trust a test that only costs a dollar, I'm not pregnant
My legacy here is being that tiny blonde girl that threw someone down and shouted "Fuck your face, I'm Dee Dee Ramone."
How the fuck did he think me asking about the possibility of a threesome was a rhetorical question?
He kept spinning my wedding ring like thanks buddy I remember
Randomize
