If a guy called my cleavage "mesmerizing" but is kinda related to me, does it still count?
I can't believe he cheated
Whatever. Anytime she has an orgasm, it's because I taught him how
Oh please, I could turn a Vienna Boys Choir concert into a shit show
i find it depressing how it takes me longer to find a good video compared to the actual jacking off process.
i woke up at 5 am and found myself wrapped in christmas lights that were plugged into the wall.
hey girl hope you're alright, you hit that tree really hard. have a good night.
I think off duty cops drove me home. I may have been hitchhiking
Oh you have a half-brother? Why that's right up my alley! Let's cause family strife
Tearing families apart since 2011.
Posting happy birthday to my grandpa on Facebook.... Then realizing my profile pic is me dressed as a slutty cop when he used to be a police officer.
I feel like we should build an island for girls that have committed atrocious numbers of unforgivable sins. We'll call it 'whore island' after the anchorman fashion.
I'm pretty sure I have enough material at this point to start a blog called Guys I've Banged in Pictures together. Why does this keep happening to me!
Yeah he told me he wanted a serious relationship, but he's posting pictures of his dick on Kik.
But I made it seem like I wasn't hungover at work, so that's a plus.
Cooked. Eating pizza. Didn't have a napkin so I took my shirt off and I'm using it.
Please come check out theses cougars grinding on a pole. I feel like they're showing us up and we need a duel stat
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