She's just bitter because she lost all the weight only to discover she doesn't have a pretty face after all.
What do you think that old couple was thinking when they saw me puking in the QT parking lot at ten in the morning?
He literally had a note from his doctor saying he wasn't allowed to finger me for a week
There's a warrant out for his arrest for throwing a mannequin through a bus stop.
Cats found the secret coke stash again
They owe us $80.
Going through my purse trying to find money for this cab but all I keep pulling out if chicken from my burrito o ate an hour ago. Help?
I am "lost the control of my head" high right now.
How was my weekend? I just blew my nose and a gram of coke fell out. My weekend was fantastic.
Well my summer started by me waking up in a tube on the side of the pond this morning with 2 of my friends. So that's good..
haha it's ok, I asked people. I was like "I'm high and lost" and the dude just said "That's my life. Love it."
This bar smells like your ball sack. In a weird way I miss you.
Where is Holly?
Nevermind. i can hear her having sex two doors down
Did you mean to say flashlight? Or did your grandpa really give you a fleshlight for your bday?
You look wasted in ALL of the pictures I just saw you in.
That can't be good for your liver!
Thanks for caring mom.
I have post one night stand depression
Randomize
