The weather is perfect in Seattle right now. Warm enough for girls to not wear bras, but cold enough for me to see them nipping out in the shade.
just apologized to a random stranger while waiting in line for coffee. last night was that drunk
I'm at the house listening to vengaboys alone. Please come home.
I making dinner, so you might want to actually come home tonight.
oh, you finally did the dishes then?
No, bought new ones.
I'm coming over to use your dick. I need to take my aggression out on something. Hope that's cool.
You are the worst kind of disappointment. The responsible kind.
thanks for the bloody nose. you probably dont remember, i'm not mad.. only because your boobs are to blame
NEVER LET ME DO THIS AGAIN I FEEL LIKE I'M GONNA SHIT MYSELF TO DEATH ARGHHHHHGHHG IS THIS WHAT DYSENTERY FEELS LIKE
We had sex in the bathroom. Good sex. Toilet breaking sex.
Brian got his first ever blow job last night. We should make him a scrapbook.
wait can you just like go into detail with this penis touching thing? like was it a hand job or was it like a day at the petting zoo or something
She is so graceful and lady-like, like a swan... On meth
I refuse to answer that question on the grounds that it may incriminate me
So the remote for the camera in the photo booth must have gotten dropped on the floor. while you were in there. having a threesome. on the floor of the room where my parents stay when they visit me. so thanks.
My one night stand ended up seeing me the next morning... For my interview. Guess who got a job.
Randomize
