I look like Roseanne just got in a bar fight with Rosie O'Donnell.
it's business casual sex. like no kissing, shake hands after, occasional frequency
and i do it all in one night. I'm like santa but a whore.
there are 10 yearolds here who keep calling me on the elbow rule!
Wait are they playing beer pong to?
I'm chugging Gatorade because i drank something called a trashcan and someone named Gianna diamond has my credit card number, and I think I might have ruined my life.
She started crying and told me to leave half way through, I'm walking down main with a bottle of patron and a sweatpants boner.
this better not be you asking for a beej
Just so you know, if you are not feeling well today it's cause you drank a gatorade bottle full of highlighter fluid.
It is 9pm, let the ass parade to the bars begin
Look at you go. You're like the Slutty Librarian that Could. They should write children's books about you. Children's books for adults.
I was convinced to buy a man thong.
But it's Armani so it's okay.
God I just out gayed myself.
You poured your drink on him and called him a "useless cocksucker" because he wouldn't give you a ride home... on his skateboard
I've now spilled wine and got poptarts all over my cast. So much for my doc taking me seriously...
And it's settled. 10 months is the appropriate amount of time before having the dick pic discussion.
She was drunk running in the middle of the street when a cop saw her,picked her up and dropped her off at her house. This really doesn't surprise me.
I don’t care if there’s a pandemic. My husband gave me a hall pass for my 40th birthday and I’m going to use it!
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