she didnt even puke last nite, shes finally hit champion status. i think im in love
you really need to stop walk of shaming home from theme parties.
The only thing I've had to eat today was the half eaten sausage biscuit I found on my chest when I woke up this morning.
'in an unhealthy relationship' should def be an fb option
They're sharing a mixed drink at a bar with straws...its like a disney movie with booze
he emptied an entire bag of goldfish onto the bed and rolled around yelling the theme to jaws trying to eat them
He didn't speak any English, but I think I caught the word turtle in there somewhere.
Why would he say turtle mid-fuck?
I feel like college is just an experience in what names I can't name my future son.
Also, that dude projectile vomiting all over the living room was the perfect distraction for me to swipe the booze and run.
This weekend i learned three things 1) skittles in vodka is good 2) it takes more than a roll of quarters to get a cab home 3) never tell a bartender to give you your change in actual change
Please collect your boy friend. He semi-passed out on the couch and trying to grab bums as people walk by. Anyone's bum, he's not choosy.
Drinking wine from a straw at 6:15 in the morning. This is what college does to people.
Just a suggestion, don't apricot scrub your vagina.
Fucked him in his sketchy van in the Applebee's parking lot. In other news, my dry spell is over.
Anyways enough about genital fatigue...
Randomize
