at least franzia made me throw up pretty colors.
this islike a room full of reasons why i should be in prison
I didn't hate myself when I woke up today, that's improvement right?
The silhouette of his dick looked like an eagle. Amurrican.
The bartender seems to not like the DD's anymore. I'm sad
I just pulled the nickels from earlier out of my bra in class. The guy next to me is either terrified or intrigued.
I'm a hopeless romantic that likes rough sex. Judge me
You have amazing self restraint. If there was one thing I could learn from you, that wouldn't be it. I love my life as it is.
THE CEO RESPONDED TO THE MEMO WITH HIS "UNICORN" EMAIL ADDRESS AND NOW HE'S APOLOGIZING TO EVERYONE FOR USING HIS PERSONAL EMAIL AT WORK.
are you putting in a lot of effort today like appearance wise
I am taking my rightful place as emperor of the undead appearance wise
I met a gypsy today. She told me my soul animal was an owl and says she will now remember me as "Owl Girl".
I'm just blindly tossing my dick into whatever comes my way.
I've never known a porn star before
There's not even an emoji for this
Do you think you could cook pancakes while i blow you?
The couple in the apartment next to mine are both opera singers. I’m never sure if I’m hearing them banging or doing vocal warm-ups.
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