You just compared our sex life to a seven year old kid.
Can I use cash for clunkers to trade in her boobs for a new set of 18 year old tits?
Its worth a shot.
Just witnessed a circumcision at clinical. i suddenly feel a sense of reconciliation over every guy who's done me dirty...
you are getting stockholm syndrome from your pubes
Something about getting head on stairs. I don't know.
Why are there sofa cushions on the floor? And why isn't there a sofa in this room that doesn't have cushions?
Oh, honey. If you're seeing a girl just for the sex, never doubt that she knows and she's doing the same thing. We're not stupid, we're just craftier than you.
Not too bad but came home early cuz business was shut down due to an employee sexually harrassing the inspector
Alright if I email the police department asking for my mug shot do you think they will email it to me
I feel like ditching all logic and responsibility and get shit-faced before the week's over. Thoughts?
I woke up at 5am on my couch, naked, with a cereal bowl of water next to me. Apprently, drunk me thought I was a kitten last night. Super impressed I slept next to the bowl all night and didn't spill a drop.
Had a dream we were competing for tomatos.
i'd like to schedule a penis for 4pm please.
Had a dick customer and the words "eat my ass" slipped out. He proceeded to lick his lips and say present it. I think it's time I quit.
Just got high with dad
Correction: more high. He's sharing gummy bears with me.
Randomize
