Maybe I'll tuck it in and pretend to be a woman pretending to be a man that is attracted to women that are attracted to women who look like men
so you masturbated because Oprah told you?
Ian has mac and cheese all in his bed/on the wall. Either you did it or he fell asleep with a bowl in his hand and spasmed in his sleep.
Cooked or uncooked?
I just found $40 in the jeans I wore last night. PS I also found the jeans I wore last night.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Drunk cheerio confetti may seem like a brilliant idea when your drunk, but believe me, the next day, its a horrible, horrible mess.
WHY DIDN'T YOU INVITE ME TO RUN THROUGH TACO BELL'S SPRINKLERS AT 4AM?!
What kind of costume was that supposed to be??
I'm an orgasm trader!
First of all you're supposed to say "you're not fat". And second of all never ever deprive me of nachos.
I drank enough to tranq a steed. You really missed out
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
And he's a cuddle champ. I know because I slept over because I don't know what boundaries are.
I can't believe the police had to bring me to my booty call last night
This is the nicest bathroom I've ever been drunk in. The urinal is gold.
The amount of guys I've turned down for you is disgusting... You better love me.
when I walked in the door they were passed out naked, on top of eachother, with tetris controllers in their hands.
Apparently I have a "problem" because I enjoy doing bong rips in the shower
Randomize