All drunkenness aside, confirm u are alive
just drew up plans to mow my front lawn into the American flag for world cup. that high and patriotic.
in respone to your voicemail you left me on saturday, yes i had gone to bed and no i was not still drinking at 5am
obviously he has no clue about college dating. it goes drunken sex then the 1st date
But besides the pee thing, he sounds like a nice guy.
It's like a challenge who can be the biggest embarrassment to the family. I win 80% of the time.
Jk. Anyone who everbeers with me is my type.
I wrapped my scarf around his head and then made him go down on me
And I also said, "probe me"
It's gonna be ok. As we grow older we sometimes lose sight of what's important to us. Like safe sex. And standards.
wanna come over? I have movies.
sure, what movies
porn or disney, your choice
Just got a ride from a stranger while walking a mile home as it hailed with no coat. He asked me if I smoked, then said he just made some potent cookies and I could have one.
The cookie was what I originally wanted to tell you. Always say yes to drugs from strangers
Can I just text her like "yo sorry I fucked your boyfriend, let's go get sushi" or like nah
My sobriety has gotten out of control. I think I need an intervention.
Just fyi i'm now butt naked in a steam room smoking a bong in some guys house. i sense the weed penetrating my pores.
Don't send me pics of cunning dicks while I'm eating potato chips
Randomize
