the police officer looked at my vomit and told me "milk was a bad choice"
So pretty much, I was trying to piece last night together and remembered a point where I was pointing to you heart then touching your face. I'm not sure that I ever translated that to "I like your personality better than your looks" but that's what I meant
If i see another girl turn you down you should either turn gay or just kill yourself
I just punched cris angel in the balls. I have photos.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I don't think there's a better bc pill reminder then when teen mom comes on
The maintenance guy at work just asked me out for a drink. For once, I proudly said that I was 20.
okay. this is james and youre probably never ever gonna see me again unless i really really really want some pussy. sorry.
Yea idk it was like early in the morning and you were walking around with no shoes carrying a printer
I just took a shot out of my supervisors unzipped jeans. Our staff parties are getting a little too personal
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
When I ask you to make sure no ones coming while I'm changing.. The logical friend would keep watch. But you my, best friend come stand in front of me and flash everybody.
How many strippers in the world do you think have had a debate with someone about the NRA?
I was so gone I thought the cops banging on my door were kids from the party trying to get into my room... needless to say, I started moaning louder so they would take the hint.
Of course, it's a law of friendship. "Thy friend Shalt always hold hatred for thine friend's swinish ex"
Why do my weekends always degenerate into using my little brothers childrens board games for drinking games?
you were on all fours in the front yard puking, but managed to hand the pizza delivery guy a beer and to have a nice day.
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