I need to stop researching the drugs I do on Wikipedia. The parts about abuse and dependency hit too close to home
He invited me to see "alison wonderland" WHAT THE FUCK THATS NOT A FIRST NAME/LAST NAME TYPE DEAL
I almost masterbated to the avatar love scene ha it was so hot
hey, do you know how many packets of jello it takes to turn a handle of vodka into slutty girls?
They were picking gravel out of my face for an hour. I think I took more out of the road than the road did of me.
Barfights against pavement aren't genrally won by people. Props.
its like..once you have one emotional drunk night, you can't stop. i feel like i have to end every drunken night in tears and i dont think my roommates think it's heartwarming anymore
Whenever I walk away from the group without saying anything, NEVER assume I'm just going to the bathroom.
Bitch, he is not your friend and this is not Bravo. Get in this car before you get smacked
Apparently she almost had an affair at Outback Steakhouse, details to follow when I get home but the apple really doesn't fall far from the tree
I just spent the last three days trying to hook up with a dude for his pool privileges
Come camping we have xanax and steaks
I behisseth at your soul from the deepest darkest depths of the earth
I'm so horny right now but I JUST put my fuckin lasagna in the oven
That was my first party and they were so suprised that this little freshman girl was a FUCKING BEER PONG QUEEN.
I just deff did the walk of shame.. His roommate/manager woke us up. A dog scared me on my stumble to the car.
This is why I'm single.
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