I need a leather bustier to keep them in.
Too kinky for 11:30am. Stop that.
Just saw a woman walking a golden retriever and a vacuum down the road. I miss downtown.
It's 9:30am and I've already blown three loads. Reason #101 I love 25 year old girls.
saw a man tazing a raccoon in the middle of the street last night... normal
when she was 9 she got kicked out of our 4-H camp dance for pole dancing on the spirit stick
We made the pizza boy do Jell-o shots with us. He didn't even deliver to our house, we just called him over from the neighbors
I pretty much threw up on him while he slept, I had one task today which was to wash the sheets that I threw up on and I turned them pink. I would leave me if I could
fact: I now appreciate my drunken winter self even more. I just found $20 in my winter coat with a note that says keep yourself warm next winter. I am awesome.
They wouldn't serve more then two Shots per person, so you grabbed a group of strangers and said u werre buying them all shots, then proceeded to drink all of them.
We smoked a bowl, ate popcorn, and watched her lava lamp for an hour. it was a quality bonding experience
Do you think blood ever gets sick of carrying all these drugs around?
Like, there are so many different things we make it do, and it just wants to settle down and be a one-drug fluid?
Stop reading WebMD high.
The squirrels are partying on my roof again. Now they're just rubbing it in that I'm home alone on a Saturday night and they're having orgies.
All I know is I woke up with his business card in my bra and in my handwriting on the back it says 8 inch.
You were passed out by the toliet and when i said i had to pee you told me to piss in the sink. Never has a girl with alcohol poisoning been so rude.
He managed to rip my nipple last night....
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