Just saw some guy walking down the street rapping about various types of pasta.
We're too lazy too send a pic of out balls. Just assume this is a pic of our balls and respond accordingly.
Dave, I love you but you're barking up the wrong lesbian. You sir are the competition. You don't threesome with competition.
We had a deepthroating contest with breadsticks at Olive Garden
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
xanax give me strength to not ask where we stand with booty calls
We were drunk having sex and I knocked over her bedside table/fish bowl and she jumped off to check if her fish was still alive but she made me pasta so it's cool
Well I mean enduring a 45 minute conversation about C-sections was worth the 9 jello shots those soccer moms gave me.
I just woke and boke and made apple pancakes. I'm kicking Monday in the dick.
I can't tell if you're talking about my pussy or Cape Cod.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
PS there is a naked boy in my bed and I just left for the bar...
I don't think I've ever had this many people offer me blow before. 3 o'clock on a Thursday. I keep good company.
Like, I don't need to know your life dude. I just need you to suck my tits.
million dollar idea: razor dispensers in bar bathrooms. your welcome, girls who didn't think they were getting laid tonight.
What happened last night? I just woke up and there's like 15 mcflurry cups on the floor
You don't remember stealing them?
I had Mac n cheese made with weed butter last night. Epic
Randomize