Um....I woke up to a lipgloss covered bottle of Jack daniels in my arms..
You've kissed worse.
I just saw a man with a full beard and frosted tips
there is no god
We had two amazing nights in a row...it was so weird...I couldn't even go to sleep cause I thought maybe it was just in his plot to kill me.
I am not sure how to feel about the fact that I was turned on by someone with a penis. I can't believe Lady Gaga would do this to me. :(
Yeah well I just ate cereal out of a muffin pan with a fork. I'll flip a coin as to who has to tackle that pile of dishes we've neglected for 3 weeks.
Just made a pepperoni sandwich with cheese, mayo, and pickles. Poverty is like pot, without the happy feeling.
its time for step 4 of getting over him: post his number on the transvestite page on craigs list asking for pics
I will forever be haunted by the image of you hurrying to finish your Jimmy Johns sandwich in the Taco Bell drive thru so you could proceed to order $17 dollars worth of shitty Mexican food.
Is it too soon for me to wonder what sex with him would be like?
All I have are vague memories of us eating ham?
Would it be creepy if I masturbated with my face in the pillow he slept on last night? Cuz I'm pretty sure that's about to happen
Literally had sex in his grow room under a plant.. ganja queen .
No, Ethan, handcuffs and friendship bracelets are not "basically" the same thing.
Today has been hell. Also I saw a dead man's penis. It's safe to say I will be getting very drunk tonight.
This sucks! All of the twenty something dick I was getting went home when the university closed
Randomize