2 v-cards in one night. impossible is nothing.
Also, just saw a homeless man answer a phone call on a blackberry...
Definitely got drunk and sent her a literal picture of my asshole. I titled it " you"
I may have been hammered and in a wheelchair but I definitely remember asking the hospital reseptionist to marry me
Ironically her ferret's toys look like her sex toys.....this is a whole new level of kinky for me
I've used my house key more to do bumps of coke than I've used it to get in my house.
My cat was watching porn with me. Weirdest bonding experience ever.
the night probably should have been over when the guy let her fill out my mechanical bull waver for me because i couldn't read
I was told to keep my leg elevated. I assume it means to keep my legs on the air, it's like I was prescribed to be slutty
This girl is wasted dancing to The Final Countdown. She's grinding on a guy who came to the bar in a track jacket and a wife beater
Just cried to my husband about how much I'm going to miss my boyfriend... Maybe marriage is going to work for me after all
she fell THROUGH the wall. All in all id have to say that my neighbors where pretty chill about it tho.
Called Apple, my penis pics are safe.
I just want to sit my fat ass down at McDonald's and never leave
He left cushions on my floor, chocolate on my bra and unexplained scratches on my thighs. I think this one might get a second date.
Randomize
