I'm not high anymore, I decide when it's done.
can we take a shower together?
no need for the romantic shit. I'm a sure thing
He was drunk at Denny's at 5 am saying how Dear John was the worst movie he has ever seen... eyes filled with tears.
Pretending to care to care about playoffs in exchange for free shots. I'm sorry in advance.
The little things make me happy. Little dicks do not.
I've decided I'm peeing in a solo cup then throwing it on his windshield. It's official. He called the cops 4 times in our first week at the house. He deserves it, right?
Hahaha wear something that says i'm here to party but wont go farther then a handjob.
Apparently love is stronger than SoCo
You are. Embrace it. But you are the right kind of asshole.
Who knew you could get a drunk in public when jogging with your dog?
It's a little hazey but I think I tried to request Nelly last night. There was no dj. Not sure who I was talking to
Acid king. Jackson puked a lot. Promoter booth. Angry security. No acid. Probably a good thing.
Hey bring in backup. its going to take a lot more beer than we think to fill up the water bed...
It's 1:37. You have 23 minutes to get your dick to the bar before I go home with the bartender... tick... tick...
I’ve chosen to watch a Mercedes station wagon drive around the Austrian in the rain because it’s live sports. If that doesn’t explain 2020, I don’t know what does.
Randomize
