I'm gonna have bed sores at the end of this hangover.
he thought he was parachuting out of a plane... talk about a bad trip.
I hit her tiny dog with a horseshoe an hour ago. Her and her mom cried as it laid on the ground shaking. Im drunk.
She should get an extra 30 days for that Georgia Rule movie......terrible.
He still lectured me about forgetting shit. Than he said he's gonna paint me green so I can stand in a corner and be a plant.
Im embracing the luau theme and maybe bringing a kiddie pool filled with alcohol. Im also embracing the high probability I will not remember this night.
Just break the ice by asking who had to take plan b this past semester
I should probably just look up vagina pictures in the anatomy textbook. That always cheers me up.
Also, I'm sat on the floor drinking cava because life is just not working for me tonight.
you and him went to the park at 2am to "catch a pigeon" and ACTUALLY CAME BACK WITH A PIGEON
He saw one of my bras on the floor and said "damn you could eat soup out of this"
He just seemed to happy to be having sex with me that it ruined the mood for me. I just wanted to punch him.
i dont believe you. i want proof. if you end up at a hospital send me a pic.
It was great. We stayed up all night talking about objects he'd put in his theoretical vagina.
I'm sittin in my Hawaiian shorts watching the office eating cold asparagus. wow do I suck when you're not here.
Randomize
