I really love her but I don't think I can go the rest of my life without anal.
What wine goes with Cap'n Crunch?
its like fishing. just send her some cock shots to keep her on the hook then use tequila to reel her in
We stole a cat. That is all you need to know.
the tile , carpet , walls , cabinets , even the ceiling ... there is Jello everywhere
it was your idea to have indoor Jello wrestling man
Our date was amazing and I would like to reward you with a blow job under your desk.
I can pencil you in at 3:30
Woke her up in the middle of the night with the smell from a fart. So proud of my colon.
just tried to scoop ice cream with a steak knife. now in the emergency room with a the cab diver and the drag queen he picked up on the way. its gonna be a loooong day.
You've fucked so many I should get a word bank when you make me guess these things.
You kept saying we got to find the end of the rainbow, which turned out to be a box of lucky charms and Guinness in the bag of cereal
although steph and I had 3 bottles of wine by that point and watched an opera that featured a black dildo so anything was possible really
He was just lying in his underwear like a present. I had to unwrap it.
Your exhaustion is probably due to your rampant sexual urges and the fact that you live the same life as a raccoon.
Do you rver get that feeling like their are poprocks filling ur boday?
I've never seen so much of my blood outside me. After the initial shock it was kind of cool.
Randomize
