I just made friends with the guy at the coffee shop in borders. And by that I mean he stared at me until I was uncomfortable and left.
This boy just came into class wearing sperrys and a polo but also carrying a longboard. I'm unequivocably attracted to his level of doucheyness.
Just saw a man in a wheel chair using his feet to push himself backwards through a crosswalk... good morning Atlanta
How was I supposed to know she would get offended when I asked her how long it took to draw on her eyebrows.
so apparently dipping a tampon in red gatorade and throwing it out the window on the highway is a $100 fine
all I know is he gave me a Cialis and tried to take me home.
i keep looking at my boobs and it just baffles me how he could give this up.
of course not. I do my best teaching on a hungover monday. I did the research. im still okay with the direction in which my life is headed.
I just farted and its sounded like it was disappointed in me.
Just spread butter on my bathrobe. This has been an ace morning.
you walked in, put on rap music and started chugging vodka
Its a holy bong. We had to bless the holy bong water.
One of your snapchats was of you with a 40oz of Mickeys and the caption: "Deep Throat back in her natural habitat"
she said. She was going to, and I quote, "put her vagina inside my dick".
The thing about online classes is the prof can't tell this mug is full of beer.
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