Omg! Love it! Cant find L*****
What!!?? Like after last night you lost her?
Yea me and L***** came back to out hotel at 3am to regroup then went back out; police and 2 bars later, I don't know what happened. Vegas is nuts!
I may or may not have eaten the rest of your birthday cake last night after getting blazed and watching harry potter.
i think you have the wrong number
so then it wasn't your birthday cake. k, cool.
I think the universe is against us being together. Or maybe it's just god's way of telling me there is a bigger dick out there for me.
she was sobbing drunk in the backseat about her dead cat and how the guy in the front seat didn't want to hook up with her
mom in a round about way told me to either donate my eggs or become a surrogate bcuz I need money.
about to tell this girl that sh'es my teenage dream. you have 15.358s to stop me.
I think the taxi driver just requested me on facebook..... his name was george right?
Seriously, do normal people actually get work done being this hungover? No wonder the economy's in the shitter
okcupid is pretty much insisting i hook up with this chick who looks like andy milonakis.
do you ever wish you could like, jerk your heart off and be, like, emotionally satisfied? it'd feel like cuddling.
We just don't discuss our relationships. It's pretty much like we're single no matter what to each other. And I'm okay with that. ¯\\(ツ)/¯
She made sure everyone knew we were doing shots for her dead grandma.
Tell me why I woke up outside of our hotel room Wearing a cowboy hat and boots in Las Vegas.
Getting dome in the backseat of a friends car with Ariana Grande playing in the background was probably the most romantic part of my night
that is our friendship pylon, do not lose it
fuck you.
DO NOT LOSE IT
Randomize
