I told her I was pledging and she immediately proposed to give me head in the bathroom. i love how easy rushees are
My relationship with VH1 is so bittersweet
recess is on disney at 4 in the morning, insomnia has never been so rewarding
We've got 2 weeks of college left-I want to feel like Gary Busey by graduation.
ok, she started talking about how she swears her step dad killed her mom. starting to back out of this one
Dude, please wake him up, there are pills all over the floor and hes the only one who knows which ones to take simultaneously.
she cried into her fur with two handfuls of money- she was the physical manifestation of white girl problems
i can't believe he threw up on you. Well thats what you get for being DD. I used the sombreros as a shield!
Gave him an awesome blow job on his living room couch last night, so at least he'll have something nice to think about next time he's watching the Tigers lose.
I'm really having trouble focusing on shark week with this erection
You wanted to go find him and we told you to sit down cause you kept stumbling. You yelled " I CAN STAND!! It's the walking part I can't figure out!"
He showed up at my apartment drunk with a telescope wanting me to look at the "blown up star" in -24 degree weather, claiming "it's in the name if science"
Went to the lab to print and realized the guy next to me was the one we stole all the beer from last night..... Oops
Just in case you forgot, you puked all over your boss house, pissed on his coffee table, and were then thrown out by his wife
I swear I only fuck him for the huge bottle of smart water he gives me afterwards.
Randomize
