i'm going to rape that little man
omg not your brother
Everytime she would start slurring, she'd stop, hold up a finger, wait like 30 seconds, then try again. I love drunk people
Trying to find something to do here is like trying to find a vegan resturant in alabama.
She asked me to facebook all the girls I'd hooked up with. She started crying when I started my search with A.
Aww you are cute. With your penis. And failures.
I was short on money so I let my roommate mase me for $60
Sign she's a keeper: "I would rather be late to brunch than waste a perfectly good boner."
Going to the bathroom drunk while wearing overalls is such a struggle
On the way home there was a guy passed out IN the road on Colfax with his pants around his ankles, completely bare assed. If he was dressed as a speed bump, he succeeded.
The little girl I'm babysitting is having a tea party, the water and chips she's passing out are doing wonders for my hangover.
I'm high and having a granola buffet this has got to be the healthiest I have ever been
I wish our county sheriff had a comment section for their mugshots.
I was informed this morning that I took all my clothes off and ran around the whole apartment complex. Being as they just moved in, welcome to the neighborhood.
I cant believe you bit her ass cheek, she must have been really weirded out.
yeah so we made out to make it less awkward
Oh, did your mom say anything else about my butt?
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