This last weekend single handedly took me off the liver transplant list
There is a distinct lack of front teeth here.
After Sake bombs he tried to puke into an alluminum beer bottle and shot vomit streaks in a perfect V out the sides of his mouth and hit BOTH girls he had bought drinks for that night. He was like an Icon of Cock-blocking yourself.
it was such a weird mix, KFC and penis
someone needs to get her out of the garbage can shes never gonna forgive us for this
can we get vodka so I have an excuse for being an emotional wreck
We have started to decorate penises.
My costume for the end of the world party was a success. Everyone in the ER thought I was there because I got hit by a car when it was actually from alcohol poisoning.
I feel like we need a drunken piñata bash with your face being the piñata and my hopes and dreams being the stick
sigh, if only his dick was as big as his mouth
Great. I broke up with him before he could like my selfie, now I'm down a like.
he's been dating her for 18 months and cheating on her with me for 16. if that's not commitment, i don't know what is.
I dropped a piece of Mac and cheese in the shower and I almost still ate it. Stoned, but not stoned enough to degrade myself.
I'm going to force her to break up with me this week. Tonight I plan to shit the bed. If that doesn't work I'm not sure what's next.
With each thrust he'd whisper "like a ninja." Should I be flattered or appalled?
Randomize
