Tell her to GTFO!!!!! JAI HO!!!!!
I just want to know how you cleaned her puke off the twister mat with no gloves. And didn't throw up
i can totally see doctors naming an STD after you
She had to get her inhaler in the middle of fucking...but she kept it in.
my purse only fit my wallet or the martini shaker. it wasnt even a question of which i was bringing.
The heaters out again. Makin a fire in thebroke toilet for warmth.
sorry he hasn't talked to me since the surprise salvia incident...
judging from the lines on my body they wheeled me back in a shopping cart
We're both on the slippery slope toward middle age...and really shame riddled bar experiences
I cartwheeled across every street... They tried to stop me but I bit anyone who came near me
Okay. This morning the comforter was wet, you were underwearless and using a tiny blanket. What'd you do??
i refuse to give everyone the satisfaction of seeing the results of my acting on my thoughts
It's six am and her daughter just walked in on her mom and roomful of naked people playing strip spoons. glad Im apart of that childhood memory....
Dude I swear I'm scooping human shit out of the litter boxes. What the fuck happened last night?
Asking me to suck on my nipples isn't going to make me less mad at you.
Randomize
