Um, I don't know who U MEANT to send that to, but yes I WAS going to fuck you. Instead you can go play Halo with ur friends.
a/c is broke at work...just took my panties off at my desk and the janitor saw it...might have a date for later. let you know
you made me "pop lock and drop it" as a sobriety test last night..
I'm just gonna go nail your roommate after we break up anyway.
We really need to stop competing to see who can get more drunk, and I REALLY need to stop winning.
i think i had a heart attack, prayed, and jizzed my pants.all at once.
Just so everyone's clear, it was already on fire when I got there.
I like how he had to correct himself in stating that I was the fat one in the threesome.
i woke up the next morning in a pool of blood in my bathroom and a pinata donkeys head in my bed
so much for an anticlimactic 22nd birthday
The other night I NICELY told her she looked like Jack Sparrow
State dependent memory. I just needed to feel my teeth. It was like a fog was lifted.
We played a 4 hour game of True American then we fucked on the floor for a couple hours Happy 20th to me
I can feel your judgement through the phone
Just fyi i'm now butt naked in a steam room smoking a bong in some guys house. i sense the weed penetrating my pores.
She's not allowed to do acid anymore... she started crying because she thought she was an eagle.
Randomize
